hot things to say during sex:
- aw man i shot marvin in the face
- silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
- you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
- the d is silent
- [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
- BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN
a cool new way you can get rid of the dead skin on your lips is by placing gorilla tape and yanking it off
i’m in the kitchen on my laptop and my mom walks by and says “who are flirting with” since i was smiling like an idiot.
i’m watching puppy compilation videos.